Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
