I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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