what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
