walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
third nipple confirmed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
