I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
