So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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