He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
