you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
