That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
