It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we're making bets on your personal life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
