I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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