Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
