i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
