I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
