I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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