vagina is talking i cant
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
