I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
