I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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