The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
please come you make the beer taste better
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
