i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize