Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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