I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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