I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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