So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize