Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
