Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
