Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
