are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
