I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
