I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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