yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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