I need help removing her.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
