dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
