addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
