did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
