The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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