go do what you do best...puke behind churches
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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