i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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