I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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