Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
