I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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