:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize