dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he fucked my hip out of place.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
