Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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