Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
