Umm I'm too high to move.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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