i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
