I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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