WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
time to smoke my breakfast
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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