you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
