I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
