Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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