Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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