Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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