mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize