wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
