By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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