i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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