WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
