and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
