dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
