youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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